I Am Still Here

Time Flies...

I guess you can say I have been busy. I think its safe to say my life has changed completely over the past few months...Although, I still can't drive.

This is usually is the point in a typical blog post where I would apologize for not posting something in ages, but I honestly feel I have nothing to be sorry for. I for sure missed writing, but things have been so crazy, I haven't been able to really collect all of my thoughts. 

Where to start? Well, I worked all summer making strangers some coffee. By the end of the summer, not everybody was a stranger, and that felt good. I had two of the greatest people to ever grace the face of this planet come help me everyday. We all got to know each other on levels I didn't even know were reachable. The summer was full of good times, funny times, confusing times, and a few pretty awful days sprinkled in between all the positivity. I made some pretty great friends. Actually, that is a massive understatement. There is no way to express the pure awesomeness of these people I am lucky enough to have hang around me for no good reason. Shout out to you...you know who you are. (....#Mary) 

I think this is the first time I actually notice a difference in myself. This summer was such a whirlwind, I can't pinpoint exactly when it happened.

 

I have seen people I love get hurt.

 I've seen them cry.

 I've been hurt.

 I've cried.

 I guess I really started to grow up...maybe.  I've encountered situations I couldn't have imagined if I tried. I just had to work through them. I came to the realization that everyone is really messed up. Like, really. Especially the people I prefer to associate myself with, but I am probably the most messed up out of all of us, and that is fine by me.

I've always been that person that loves pretty much everyone. My father likes to make fun of me for it on a daily basis. I want to help everyone. I want to protect everyone. It's really an awful trait to have, because it is literally impossible to do it. My eyes were opened to that. So, I had to let go. I didn't have a choice. I still love everyone, and I am more than willing to help everyone, but I let go. I found those people, ya know? The ones that love me too. My people. I owe them everything. I thank them for putting up with me. Thank you. 

Now, I just continue to put the puzzle together. Piece by piece, with room for error. It's all just so beautiful.

Do me a favor? Smile for me. Close your eyes and take a moment to notice every detail of being alive. The good, the bad, and the bittersweet. 

I am still here, 

Nowhere Girl

Why I Wear My Glasses

If you know me, you know that I wear giant Ray Ban glasses on my face everyday. I'm sure you look at me sometimes and think to yourself "Why does she wear those? She looks silly!" or perhaps "Those sure are quite the fashion statement!" I know I do. Sometimes I look in the mirror, especially when I know I am about to see a cute boy, and wonder why in the world I would wear these, and my mother reminds me on a daily basis how much she hates them. Believe it or not, there is an actual reason I wear my 1950's honker pair of glasses. I wear them to honor one of the most important men in music history.

Buddy Holly died on February 3rd 1959 in a plane crash. He was only 22 years old, but in his short time is a rock n' roller, he changed the course of music. He influenced many artists, including The Beatle's who named the band after Holly's band, The Crickets. He is the reason John Lennon wanted to be a musician. He wrote many classic rock songs, such as Peggy Sue. Unlike today, in the 1950's being able to sing was a very big deal, and making it in the music industry was an even bigger deal.

I was lucky enough to be introduced to Buddy Holly at the ripe age of 5. I attended Billy McGuigan's RAVE ON!  many times growing up, and it influenced my taste in music completely. That music is reason I love The Beatle's. It makes me who I am.

....and that is why I wear my glasses. So I can honor not only Buddy Holly, but a part of who I am as well.

Do you still believe in Rock n' Roll?

I do.

Nowhere Girl

The Glitter-John Lennon Loving-Ice Princess from the Baltic Sea (AKA: G-Money)

Greta. Today she asked me why that man shot Jesus' sister, because her teacher wouldn't tell her. Where on earth she got this idea, I really couldn't tell you. She lives in a fairy tale all the time. She even talks like she is from a fairy tale. A week ago, she told me I was banished from her room. For those of you who don't know Greta, I am sorry, because she is magnificent. She wears whatever she pleases,whenever she pleases. She says the funniest things, and when you meet her she'll be sure to invite you to her wedding where she is either marrying JJ or Ian. She is my youngest sister, with 11 years in between us. She talks non stop, including while she is sleeping. She will write you a song and then sing it to you within a matter if seconds. She can tell you everything there is to know about John Lennon, and throw in a few extra details. She cuts her own hair on a regular basis (bangs and all) and it is so cute. She has two twin baby dolls named Ball and Flower that she absolutely adores. She watches Harry Potter in her free time, and she is always smiling. I love her. The other day she came into the parlor and said "Grandpa, I know you're an old man, but I need your help!" and as he was helping her she yelled "You go, girl!" in the sassiest way possible. She is my best friend, and I can't believe I am going to have to leave 7 year-old Greta and go to college. It breaks my heart. I want her to stay that little, artsy, vintage, imaginary friend having, freckle face little girl forever. Sadly it won't be long before she is that hormonal teenage girl, sneaking out of the house at every chance she gets. (She already does that now at age 5.) Every so often G-Money will climb into bed with me and make me tell her all about Disneyland. I made her a promise, that before she grows up I'll take her there. I mean it with my whole heart. Better start saving, Nowhere Girl

Home is Wherever I'm with You.

A little over a year ago, I discovered the magic of Duchesne Theatre. The whole sha-bang is full of bubbling-love-fun-goodness-perfection. Each member has a sparkle that is unreplacable and never absent. That is something that leaves me at peace as the loves of my life head off to go concur the world without me. I see clearly now, that it is my job to pass down their sparkle-essence to future cult members. I need to be them for the little me's that needs an upperclassman to love their guts, like my upperclassmen did to me. I have a few words of love and wisdom to share with said people, but I am going to start with MB, even though she is not a senior.


Mary Beth,

I am well aware you are not a senior, considering the fact I am older than you, but I still gave a few things to say to a bubble like yourself. I admire your talent. No, we'll take it a step further...I envy your talent. I watch the way you own that stage and your characters and my mind is boggled. I try to model my ways after your ways. I love you, for many reasons. Including the fact you will DM me for hours as I have a panic attack and no one seems to care or listen. I like to think we are similar characters, and I think its so dandy we are friends. Thank you for being my MB. Thank you for listening to my rants, my panic attacks, my love of Doug speeches, and for letting me help you show the new theatre kids the magic.


Catie,

You are a pivotal part in my life. I'd say you are the one girl at Duchesne who has truly become like my sister, because I'm pretty sure we fight more than my real sisters and I do. Have you noticed that it is always resolved or blows over? Yup, because we love each other. I remember the first week of Anything Goes rehearsals, and being the tall people that we are, we were placed in the back, right next to each other for every dance. Little did Monica McSwain know she was changing my life forever. I remember thinking "Who the hell is this girl? I am sure glad she's talking to me so I don't look like such a loner. Hopefully I get to thank her someday." Well, I'll be damned! Look what I get to do. Thank you. Remember when we'd sit on the stairs together praying Kaleigh would come talk to us? Now look, we're like three peas in a pod. With the discussion of bowel movements and Beatle's movies. Thanks for letting me in your car and being my friend. I love you and I can't believe you're going to have to leave. But we will still have Wednesday and all those memories. I love you. I love you. Thank you, from the deepest crevice of my heart.



John,

I wanted to be your friend so badly it hurt the inner most parts of my body. I creepily idolized you from a distance. I remember begging Catie to introduce us. We spoke a little but it was awkward. Then, last day of performances, I saw this book. Something along the lines of a zombie apocalypse. It was so you. I had to get it for you. So, I did. And I wrote something in it that I don't remember. I was hoping it would show you just how big of an impression you made on me. Them, within months(?) I was spilling my heart out to you and you listened and responded with such wisdom. I just loved you. For awhile I thought you readily disliked me, but for some reason, I don't remember what changed my mind on that. Anyway, I am so glad it isn't true, because you have a niche in my heart, that if it were ever to go missing, I would slowly fall apart and no longer be Abigail, or, more importantly, Agibail. I know I've got you forever. You are that older brother I never got. You are one of the loves of my life! Thank you for saving me. Thank you for being John. That boy who has gumption. I love you, your guts, and your soul. You are...awesome.






Blessed are those who make that magic,

Nowhere Girl

Train Thoughts

I am currently sitting on a train, heading for Omaha, from my Aunt's house in Letts IA. I took a very spontaneous trip. I just got on a train, and told my aunt to pick me up at the station. It was such fun. She has three little boys and lives in the middle of a forest in a beautiful house. It was nice to get away for spring break. On my train voyages and forest excursions, I pondered my thoughts and I am about to shove them all into one post.

I want to be a film maker. I want to adopt one of my sons from Africa. I want to travel. Everywhere. I want to be successful. I want to be busy, but not to busy for my kids. I want to travel with my family, show them the world and make some memories for them. I've got enough gumption, ambition, and passion to do all of these and more. I've been looking a colleges that specialize in film. Chances are, two years from now I'll be getting ready to move to California, because my job will require me to be there. 2/3 of the students at Loyola Marymount in Los Angeles receive internships. Internships lead to relationships and relationships lead to jobs. They have the 19th best film school in the world. I will aim for the stars and apply to the American Film Institute, and I will probably go there, but why not keep my options open? I've got the whole world at my finger tips. People set limits, but truth is there is not a boundary in the world. I am not going to let myself become one of those people who lets their life get away. I am going to live it while I got it. I am going to accumulate debt in student loans, and then I am going to pay them all off with the money I earn in my successful film productions. I am going to spend time with my parents, and make sure they die debt free. I am not going to let anyone stand in my way. I am going to fall in love, and get married and have babies. I am going to go to the super bowl, because why the hell not? I am going to be a guest on the Ellen show, and then we're going to be best friends. Slow dance with John, because I love him. Have a cat named Sherlock and/or McDermott. So basically, this is me telling you all I am going to do this. I am going to live on my terms because this is my life. Mine.


2) Pageants. Does the human race lack the ability to see beauty in everyone? One of my aunts, whom I love very dearly, is infatuated with the way she looks. I look at her and think how beautiful she is, but she is never satisfied. Well, I just typed over 400 words on this subject and lost all of it. Basically, pageants are bad and y'all are beautiful.

3) Distance hurts. My best friend/ cousin moved to Arizona three years ago. I miss her. I've only seen her twice. I want her to come home. We've got so many plans. What ever will I do?


I am going to go sleep now. Goodbye from somewhere in central Iowa.

Nowhere Girl.

Josh Jones for the Win!

What a way to end the last home game! BAMM! I actually started crying when my Creighton Bluejays won against the Evansville Purple Aces by one point in overtime. Who scored that game point? Well, no other than #5 Josh Jones.

Let me start out by saying, I think Josh is quite the baller. He really gets my blood pumping during games, not to mention confidence radiates off of him. Confidence is key. I would like to personally congradulate Mr. Jones on scoring the game point, but sadly that isn't possible. ( I could tweet him, but I think I am begining to creep out my lovely Jays...esspecially after the Avery-Taco issue.) I was so proud of Josh I tried to start a "Jones" chant, but no one joined in with me. It's the thought that counts right? Anyway, if you are somehow reading this Josh, congrats!! You deserved it. I am so proud of you. All of Bluejay nation is so proud of you. Hugs, high-fives, and fist pumps all around.

I have found so much love in Creighton Basketball, that sometimes I don't even think I understand. Every single one of those players means the world to me, and it is quite odd considering I don't know any of them and told one of them he reminds me of tacos. (Sorry, Avery) Its funny how you can care so much about people you don't even know.

On my list of dreams and goals I wrote that I wanted to befriend the entire Creighton Men's Basketball team, so I could personally thank each and everyone of them for everything they have given me, esspecially after this season. I have made so many friends through the Jays. I look up to each player as a role model.There are honestly no words.

I can't wait for next season, so the fun can start all over again.

This one is for my team. I love my team.
Gregory, Austin, Taylor, Doug, Alex, Grant, Derek (I'll miss you! Great run!), Jahenns, Ross ( You're awesome! You'll be missed!), Matt (Keep it classy, thanks for some great seasons), Avery, Geoff, Nevin, Antoine (You don't even understand how valuable you have been. Thank you), Will, Ethan, Mo, and the Couching Staff.

and of course the one, the only....LEGEND JOSH JONES.

Rollijays,

Nowhere Girl

Tacos

For all of you who find my mishaps funny, you may enjoy this...

Creighton Bluejay #22 Avery Dingman. Very attractive. Cute, sweet, all around good guy.

We just had a twitter conversation. I got so nervous, I told him he reminded me of tacos.

That's right. Tacos.

Not my brightest moment,

Nowhere Girl

Once a Jay, always a Jay.

So...yesterday was rough. The Creighton Bluejays had their 3rd loss of the season. Now for those of you who don't know, The Jays have been rocking The arenas this year, only losing 1/20ths of the games they've played. They were ranked 12th in the nation this week. Last night, they lost against UNI 65-62. (FYI: They beat the UNI Panthers earlier in the season 63-60) They were tied with 8.4 seconds left in the game, but one of the UNI players sunk a 3 point shot at the buzzer, hence UNI's victory. (You have to win by 2 in a basketball game)

Can somebody say "ouch" ? That's was harsh, and I was, oh I don't know, upset. Then I started to think...As far as loses go, that wasn't to bad. We only lost because of aka lucky buzzer shot. We only lost by 3 points, and we held on tight. We played a good game. In the end we were winners. We walked out of that game with Doug McDermott and Grant Gibbs, two amazing players UNI heavily recruited but Creighton got. We got. (Even if Gibbs took a quick stop at Gonzaga first) In the end, we are the better team.

I jumped on the Bluejay bandwagon, but now that I am on, I'll never jump off. I going to stick with these boys through yays and nays. I love them, and they love their fans.

Once a Jay, always a Jay,

Nowheregirl

Don't ya hate when....

You commit to something that you really don't want to do? Like babysitting? I really wish I didn't have to babysit tonight. It's so snowy and cold, and I don't want to have to go outside and walk down the street to babysit for five hours. I want to stay in my warm house. With my strange little sister and do nothing. Not hang out hang out with two little boys.

Did I mention I had to cancel band practice? Not cool man, not cool. We were going to work on Rocky Raccoon today. Damn. And it's been snowing for like 12 hours straight. On a blessed Saturday!!! SATURDAY!

On the light side of Iowa, the Jays are playing today against UNI. (Avery Dingman retweeted me. Be jealous.) I love me some bluejays. (and Doug)

Go enjoy your free day. Lucky, Brats.

Peace in the middle east,

Nowheregirl

Courtney Reefe is pretty cool.

So is Michaela Peck, but Courtney Reefe is slightly cooler

I can think of no witty title for this blogpost

It has recently come to my attention that my sons will most likely be taller than me. I am not ok with this.

This was brought to my attention by a certain twitter acount (@tall_girlprblems) stating "I will strictly be breeding athletes when I am older. #nomorenoless #tallgirlprblms"

Considering the people I am currently planning on marrying are 6'7 and 6'4.... (For the record I will take either one, they are both lovely people.) This means, that not only will my sons be taller than me, but my daughters will probably be taller than me as well!

On the bright side, my sons will be able to play for the Creighton Blue Jays. In my fantasy future, I have four sons playing for Creighton, and a son named Creighton who doesn't play for Creighton.

FYI... I am 6'0

Nowhere Girl

Ladies and Gentlemen.....THE BEATLES

In the late 1950's, a boy by the name of John Lennon started a rock 'n roll group that called themselves 'The Quarrymen'. His mate, Paul McCartney, also was a part of the shenanigans. Paul brought in the quite young, George Harrison. After some time, the group dwindled down to four members John, Paul, George, and Pete. They were also now calling themselves 'The Beatles'. Before the group became the most acclaimed artists of all time, they asked Pete to leave his position of drummer, bringing in Richard Starkey, AKA Ringo Starr. Thus, legends collide.

Over the next decade (1960-1970), The Beatles would quickly dominate the world. They became more popular that Jesus (you'd have to understand the reference). They released the most brain popping music ever. I live my life by Beatle's songs. They are more than just a tune to me, they are a way of life. People will never understand, but they aren't meant too, so it's all cool. Loving The Beatles brings people together.

People are always harping about the drugs and John and Yoko's stuff. They never listen. Has it ever occurred to you...listen. I did. I do. And it has made all the difference. (but while you are listening...make sure you pay attention to the extraordinary instrument playing) These men were the flame of the rock 'n roll revolution. Not only changed music, but the way people think.

All you need is love. Love is all you need. John, Paul, George, and Ringo is where I find love. Through their message. I feel, happy. I honestly believe George Harrison is my soul mate. Who said souls have to be on earth at the same time to be soul mates. Soul...unearthly. Through George's music I have felt better on every level, and when I go on to where ever you go on to or whatever happens, we'll do it together. George and I. Laugh if you want, I know it doesn't seem sane. But for me, it's the line between insanity and sanity. It's love. Real, raw,authentic love.

I've got blisters on me fingers!
Nowhere Girl