Oh, Mary!

Mary,Mary, Mary!
[If you don't know the origin of this nickname, I advise you.... Do not ask.

I think Mary is borderline awetastic. If Jack McBrayer and Tina Fey had a baby, it would be my buddy Mary. She even looks like Jack.

I first met Mary in la clase de Espanol on the third day of Freshman year. She is so so so so....ugh... Lack of words

[let me add, right before this I had an unnatural amount of sugar. My brain is fuzzy fried]

I really love Mary [this just in! If Mary was a boy her name would be Marty...not Paul.

Mary is a mixture of Jesus, candy, sand, happiness, Katy Perry, chicken, lolapolluza, cold play, cats, moneymaking, hats,sex, tibias, ipads, and butt cushions all blended together to create a pancake of perfection.

Brain Dead Sugar High,

Nowhere Girl

I am feeling rather full of myself this morning...

I have frequent viewers from Russia, Germany, Latvia, and Brazil!

Eeep! Yay!

Nowhere Girl

Death

Dying is the easiest thing we will do in our lifetime.

The past few weeks, I have been sick. Not the "cough cough" sick, but rather sick in the head. At first I thought it was just me, then I peaked out of my cloud and saw everyone was off their rocker. We were all down in the dumps.

Bad news on the door step, I couldnt take one more step. I can't remember if I cried, when I read about his widowed bride, but something touched me deep inside the day the music died.

People die everyday.

Neville Longbottom: It doesn't matter that Harry's gone. People die every day. Friends, family. Yeah, we still lost Harry tonight. He's still with us, in here

[gestures to chest.]

Death is "quicker and easier than falling asleep", and its our job to live what we have.

Dying, or the moment of death itself, is very easy. Simply driving a car isn't guaranteed to be safe. It's easy to take your own life. No one can protect you from death, not even yourself.

Death is a simple as a long extended drum role. ( I plugged my ears and hid under my desk in this part of of Tale of Two Cities)

Death is closer and closer every second that passes.

Somewhere, probably right next to me, George is waiting. He will be there to take my hand and guide me to my next life. As cheesy as it sounds, because of it, I don't fear death.

Love and Death are equivalent,

Nowhere Girl

It has recently come to my attention...

I am going to have to grow up.

Now I don't mean maturity level wise, but literally grow up. I am looking at how fast my high school career is flying by, and thinking, college is just around the corner. Where do I want to go? What do I want to be?

I was thinking yesterday, how excited I am to live in my very own appartment. I used to be strongly opposed to the idea of appartments, but recently the idea has opened up. I feel like the time you live in an appartment, is like a portal between the time you are a young hipster adult, and you become a full blown adult. I feel like this carefree (not literally carefree) time in my life is going to be the most fun. Figuring out what you want to do, becoming you.

Marriage. The very word is bitter sweet. Think about this: Your spouse is currently on this planet somewhere. The person you are going to marry might even be thinking about you right now. I honestly think about my wedding a lot. I can't see my face, or my husbands when I visualize this monumental day. I merely see are hands together, never letting go. Just love, happiness, peace in my heart. It may sound cheesy, but it's true. This day will be here before any of us know it.

Children. I once told someone I was going to have my own children and that person looked at me and said, " EEeeewwwww!! That's so gross!" I was honestly really offended. Even though it is several years into the future, my children mean the world to me. Even though they aren't really here... They're here. This person went on to tell me how they are going to adopt all their kids, because getting pregnant really wasn't worth it. First of all, adoption is wonderful, but I wouldnt go as far as saying having your own kids isn't worth is because of pain. That's what miracle drugs are for, and plus it's a few measly few hours of the (give or take a few) 100 years you have on this planet. Suck it up. And chances are if you are married and having sexual relations with your husband, I am willing to bet your going to get pregnant. Just saying. Yes, I am going to shove a human being out of my body and it's going to hurt. Why? Because I love them that much.

EClaire and I were in the maternity ward of a hospital back in April, visiting a new baby. The thought occurred to us..in about a decade, this will be us, sitting in a hospital scared out of our mind with a brand new baby. All ours. Forever. Raising them even after they leave us, and have children of their own.

I'll leave you with these thoughts. Wouldn't want to blow up your brain or anything, but I am going to ask you to really think about all this. Really think about all this.

It's the circle or life, and it moves us all,

Nowhere Girl

P.S. to lazy to proofread.

I think now would be a good time....

To blog about my good friend John-John. Yes, I do recognize his code name is merely his name said twice but there is a story behind it...

Ok not really, I just found myself unknowingly referring to him as "John-John" until my mom pointed it out. So here is an open apology to him if he hates me calling him that.

Where to start... Well I think this boy makes the world go around. Honestly, I am still in shock he gives me any recognition, let alone became one of my best friends. I can't believe a person like him would even associate with me. He makes my heart melt every time I see him. I like to consider him my older brother. (once again, sorry if this creeps you out, John-John) He is the most wonderful listener, ever. Although I feel like I am bugging him, I will always turn to him with my problems, he knows pretty much everything about me. He makes me feel important, like I am worth something.

I lookup to him on so many levels. I feel like I got to become myself, because I met my beloved John-John. Everything he says, blows me away by its a) intelectual substance, or b) the comic relief. I can honestly say I love him , and I don't know what'd I would do without him.


John-John, I know I can be super annoying, and honestly an overall creep, but I love you. I really do.

Forever and Always,

Nowhere Girl

I am Where I am Supposed to Be

So we hit day two of no play practice. I did fairly well. I barely even thought about it all day. Only when we had a mini cast reunion in the hallway. As I looked into the faces of my sisters, I realized I was exactly where I was supposed to be at that point in time. I realized, even though Charlotte's Web is over, I still have every one of those girls. As for the boys? They'll always be there too, even if it's only in my memories. I was happy. It's all rather bitter sweet.

After school EClaire and I went sat in the auditorium. I didn't cry. I laughed and laughed. I could really see the whole show, and all I could think was "We are damn good!" We were soon joined by Murrbeth. We laughed some more. Most of my best memories that are going to be made at DASH are going to happen in that very room. It's already given me so many.

It's the buttermilk.

Nowhere Girl

This is harder than I thought.....

Guess what I am doing this very minute? Sitting in my room, alone, in the dark, listening to showtunes, and crying. I am miserable. I've been flipping out all day. During my free, I went and sat in the theatre stared at the set that looked so lonely, and cried. I didn't know what else to do. I feel like my utter sadness was driving people crazy. Maybe it was, but I honestly don't care. I need to vent this, I need to cry, release these half happy toxins from my body. I feel like the theatre is constantly giving me s hug, but today, she had to leave for awhile. She was going on a long vacation. I feel like part of my heart has left. This is killing me, but my day did get a little bit brighter when I saw my beloved Murrbeth. Her face made my day.

NarNar and Fasian tried to comfort me all day. I would not listen. One day this will pass, I will merely smile at the memories. I've gotten so much love the past few months. Nothing but it. I look forward to all the magic I am going to make in the coming years, growing to love even more beautiful people. I will not take advantage of the time I have left, but embrace it and cherish it. It's my job to carry on the traditions and show the love.

I do want to go into an acting career, or maybe so film related profession. Although, I don't know if I'm good enough, God knows I will try. I am going o do what I love. Over and over and over again.
I am going to back to crying now...

When the beating of your heart matches the beating of the drum,

Nowhere Girl

The Theatre is Magic...

Blessed are those who make that magic...

I would first like to apologize for absence, I have had quite the busy few weeks.

I got into acting, because I was never very athletic. It was also easier to pretend to be someone else than it is to be yourself. I became fairly good at acting and did many different shows. I always had amazing cast members, but none of us were very close as a whole. I came last year to DASH and tried out for the spring musical. There are really no words to describe the bond that cast had. The friends I made within that cast are the ones I wil keep forever. Last night was the closing performance of the fall play. Once again we had the bond of a family. We welcomed new faces, held dear the old, and missed the ones who have left us. Apart, we are magically talented unicorns. Together we are the most wonderfully fabuolous, magically magical, all the happiness in the world put together and we put on the best show that stage has ever seen. We are magic. There are honestly no words, and if you aren't in the theatre department at DASH, you simply wouldn't understand.

I had a nightmare last night that I would never see my beloved John-John again. For awhile I was really upset about it, then I thought. Nothing could tear us apart. There was nothing to get upset about. The love we have gotten in DASH Theatre is indestructible. I am going to miss Lurvy, Arable, and my husband Homer everyday now that I won't get to see them everyday, but we have eachother in our hearts we will see eachother often. I love them all.

No end and no beginning,

Nowhere Girl